It’s been in the wind, rumors have been preparing you for the moment, and though management has downplayed the possibility, there it is straight in your face: you’ve been laid off. You knew it was a possibility — it’s not a total shock — but there was that part of you that said you were one of the ones they’d keep, one that belonged. Naturally enough, being laid off is an insult to your dignity, and though you tell yourself that you don’t necessarily deserve it, that some of these things are “just business, nothing personal,” how can you not take it personally — how not care? What you need is perspective. Turn to a trusted friend or family member for advice.

Choosing who to turn to when in dire straits makes a difference. If your marriage is on the rocks, for instance, and you talk to a friend who feels her divorce liberated her, she will advise you to go for a divorce, you will be freer, happier, just like her. If, however, you talk to your other friend, who nearly had a divorce, but weathered the worst days, and made it through, and is grateful for it, he will advise you to fight it out, even when it is humiliating, just don’t give up. Both these people are persuaded that their decision was the best, and perhaps for each of them, they are right, but when you are deciding who you want to turn to when opening your heart and bearing your weakness, keep this in mind: choose somebody who has been through what you are going through, and ended up where you want to go. Not all your former friendly coworkers are the sorts of friends you can turn to.

If for instance you are laid off, and you talk to your bitter friend, who has been unemployed for a long time, he might secretly delight that you’ve joined his station; but his negative attitude is infectious, and you might become surly too, and grow unnecessarily bleak.

Take advice from the people you want to be like. This is the time to turn to your brother or sister, father or mother, or to your best friend. Certainly you want somebody to hear you out when you languish about the indignity of losing your status as a job worker. Of course, it is always wise to seek a wide variety of advice, including online advice as well.

After all, this is a bit of a downer, and feeling sorry for yourself a bit is natural and healthy. Feeling sorry for yourself in front of somebody who will gloat over your defeat will only embitter you. Choose sympathetic ears, and those of the best sort: those who have suffered as you have, who have gone through what you have gone through, and come to the other side of the stream. Such people will give you the best advice, and do the most to cheer you up enough to have the courage to forge ahead on your career track. It is best to follow the advice of those you’d most like to emulate, to regard them as your model and inspiration, and avoid those trapped in a negative attitude. You may find after all that this is a good opportunity for a bold change.

 

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